~ Just Joyful Jokes ~
Most of you who are reading this know that I love to write and read. I am an avid collector of good, clean, and cranial humour and greatly appreciate when I find more and when you send more to me!
It has been noted that a good, hearty laugh relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes afterwards. Also, laughter boosts the immune system. Further to that, findings show that laughter and joy decrease stress hormones and increase immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving our resistance to disease(s). All-in-all, those are pretty good reasons for seeking occasions of being joyful, don't you agree?
I hope this writing adds to your joy and indeed be good medicine and healing for your whole being!!
Bible Jokes
What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth? Absolutely ruthless.
Who was the most knowledgeable man in the Bible? Abraham. He knew a Lot.
Why didn't Noah ever go fishing? He only had two worms.
Why did Noah have to punish the chickens on the Ark? They were using fowl language.
Chuckles Through Life & Time
What are a father's favourite foods? Poppy seeds.
Why does Humpty Dumpty love Autumn? Because he always has a great Fall.
What time do ducks wake up? At the quack of dawn.
What's worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis.
How do mountains stay warm in the winter? Snowcaps.
Is this pool safe for diving? It deep ends!
If a frog's car breaks down what happens? It gets toad away.
Do you wonder why some people eat snails? They don't like fast food.
What is a cook's favourite drink? Baking soda!
Hilarity and Wisdom from Will Rogers ( William Penn Adair Rogers, November 4, 1879 – August 15, 1935 )
1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. Live in such a way that you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.
8. There are three kinds of people: The ones that learn by reading.The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to put their tongue on the frozen post and find out for themselves.
9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
10. If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
And now, my friends, as I finish off ...
Twenty Witty Writings Regarding Grammar/Writing Rules aka 'How to Write Good'
1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat.)
4. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
5. One should never generalize.
6. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Sentence fragments? Eliminate.
9. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
10. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
11. Who needs rhetorical questions?
12. The passive voice is to be avoided.
13. Use your spell checker to avoid mispellings and typogaphigal errors.
14. Don't never use no double negatives.
15. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
16. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
17. The spell chequer is knot always write.
18. Never use a big word when a diminutive one will suffice.
19. Also, too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
20. And always be sure to finish what
“But now I am coming to you, and these things I speak in the world, that they may have My joy fulfilled in themselves” (John 17:13).
"Therefore, since we have such a great cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also get rid of every weight and entangling sin. Let us run with endurance the race set before us, focusing on Yeshua, the initiator and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before Him, He endured the cross, disregarding its shame; and He has taken His seat at the right hand of the throne of God (Hebrews 12:1-2)."
RoseNaomi
