~ Naming My Pain ~

This story is related in hopes that by sharing it you will be pointed to a way to name a heartache and then give it to God to heal because it is only through His love that there could ever be something beautiful come out of such tragedy.



"There is no word for a parent who loses a child. That’s how awful the loss is." ~ Jay Neugeboren


What a sad truth, as bereaved parents, we have no name for our pain.

Before you read further, I invite you to please listen to the story behind a song which so very much bears upon my writing here today.

"The Anchor Holds" written and performed by Lawrence Chewning

https://youtu.be/BxnQzwrF4OU

I had one of my own dear children pass away, so when I heard my friend broach this topic it really hit home for me; so often I too had searched for a word that could adequately describe my parental identity with this horrific experience.

Unfortunately, our English language truly doesn't have a word that defines a parent who loses a child to death. So, I began searching further, deeper until finally, there it was, I found a word that most fittingly describes the unspeakable heartbreak that parents who outlive their son or daughter feel.

This word is from another language, Sanskrit, a classical language of South Asia. It is, 'Vilomah. Vilomah means 'against the natural order'.

In the Bible, Naomi is vilomah, after burying her two sons (Ruth 1:5), so full of sorrow in her bereavement. Without her faith and the love and companionship of her daughter-in-law, Ruth, it would not have been worthwhile for her to wake up the next day and carry on, but she had just enough faith (even as a mustard seed - Matthew 17:20) and family (Ruth) and so she was able!

I understand Naomi's pain, sorrow, and suffering after the death of her grown sons, even though my son was not quite 4 months old when he went to heaven. God strengthened and kept me through the horrific time of grieving and healing and my dear Mom tended to my broken heart with her constant love and careful wisdom. And so it was, as I too began my way forward, with just enough faith (even as a mustard seed), He quickened and strengthened me, and I too, like Naomi, was able!

My heart now has a name for the pain that was so prominent toward the loss of my little boy! I am confident that my 'vilomah' will be changed one day to transcend the laws of nature, unto a supernatural order and I shall then see my oldest son, Christopher George!

Somehow, by giving my pain a name, I have found peace, and joy in my sorrow. It is as though I found the missing piece!

God blessed me with 3 more children who are alive and well today. They, in turn, have given me several grandchildren to love as well.

I pray that all the Moms and Dads whose empty arms and hearts are aching will find solace in this name as well … Vilomah!

--

Take good care, keep growing, and sing out His praises!  
RoseNaomi

~ A Voice In His Garden Ministries ~
Growing Mind, Body, Soul & Spirit
~ Praise People Plants Possibilities ~
Blogspot: https://avoiceinhisgardenministries.blogspot.com/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AVoiceInHisGardenMinistries
Email: rosenaomiobrey@gmail.com 

(c) 2021 Rose Naomi O'Brey